Facing My True Self
by Ryuchan21
Summary: A year after the events of Persona 4's true ending Yosuke is heading to Tokyo to live with Souji. The pair have finally made it into Tokyo University but on the way there Yosuke finds himself in the Velvet room and his destiny laid out.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1: The Magician**_

The faint grinding of metal upon metal was drowned out by the music blaring in his ears. The train rocked slightly as it rolled over the track, en route to Tokyo. After about a year of hell and constant studying he had managed to get into Tokyo University. Had it not been for Yukiko's tutoring and Chie's constant threats of kicking his ass if he failed be might have given up half way. Actually that was a lie. He probably would have still tried, maybe even found some way to sneak into the school if only to fulfill his promise.

"_I was thinking of going to Tokyo University. Maybe doing something like psychology. I want to figure out more about the Persona." The boy's velvety deep voice spoke over the phone, always calm, always collected._

"_Really? Well...maybe I will too." He said enthusiastically._

"_Yeah? You think you can, Yosuke? You know you have trouble with studying." He laughed._

"_Hey, don't sell me short, man. I can do it if I want to." He growled._

"_I know, I know." The other boy laughed. "Well, how about if you make it in...we can share an apartment together?" There was a pause and maybe the sound of shifting in the background as if the other sat down. "I mean...it's kinda lonely here all by myself."_

"_Yeah, same here. Since you went away it's kinda been...well it's not the same." He sighed._

_There was another long pause. "So how about it? We'll live together if you get in to Tokyo-U, okay?" He sounded hopeful._

"_Yeah." He smiled, holding the phone a little tighter. "It's a promise." _

He sighed, changing the song on his MP3 player. He pulled out his acceptance letter again, staring at it. Yeah, he'd made it in and now he was going to Tokyo to move into his new place, the place he was going to share with _him_. He put the letter back in his bag, finding the photo. He took it out, staring at it for a while. It was from last Summer break, a few months after everything had gone back to normal. There was Teddie, that dumb bear that still came to visit almost everyday despite his big display at saying he was going to live back in his world. Next to him was Rise, that bright smile on her face that wasn't the fake smile of a TV idol. Then there was Chie and Yukiko. Chie had that big goofy grin on her face, her arm around Yukiko who had a more reserved smile. They actually were both leaving Inaba next week to go live together. Yukiko had been afraid to leave on her own even though she had decided not to inherit the inn. Behind them was Kanji, looking tough, but there was a warm smile on his face, that big idiot. Naoto stood next to him looking as cool as ever, though she still did get flustered from time to time. He wondered if those two were ever going to...well, get anywhere. Kanji was so shy and kind of a putz when it came to girls, and Naoto...maybe she forgot she was a girl sometimes; it figured. His eyes finally drifted to the center of the photo, where he stood next to _him. _That silver hair, and calm eyes. He had relied on him so many times that year, his inner self exposed only to him and Teddie, the part of himself he never wanted to admit. So much that year, so many truths revealed, so many heartaches. Though he felt stronger after it all, which was why he was able to see him off that day a year ago. He put the photo back, sitting back in his seat and closing his eyes. It was about another hour so maybe he'd get some rest before he got there.

It had been seven months since the last time he'd seen him. Souji Seta.

He was vaguely aware that the noise of the train had changed and his headphones were no longer playing music. Slowly opening his eyes, the pale blue glow catching his attention. What? He sat up, looking around. This wasn't his train...

"Welcome to the Velvet Room." A voice said.

He turned, staring into the shadows where the light finally illuminated the area. A man with a rather large nose sat forward, staring at him. "What the...where the hell am I?"

"Welcome once again." The man said. "I am Igor, and this is my assistant Margret." He gestured to a woman who sat next to him, his eyes and expression blank. She nodded to him. "Only those who have entered into a contract can enter this place." The man continued. "You have been chosen as a guest, seeing as your destiny is about to take a very important turn."

He blinked. Contract? Destiny?

"Please, introduce yourself." Igor said.

"Uh...Yosuke Hanamura." He muttered. What was going on? Where was he? Wasn't he on the train to Tokyo?

"I understand you may be confused but do not fear. Your body is still on the train, only your subconscious resides here." He rested his chin on his clasped hands. "Now then, since introductions are over I shall explain to you your destiny." He pulled out some tarot cards.

"Wait, what are you doing?" He leaned forward, seeing the man place down the cards on the table. "Look I'm not into fortune telling."

"Do not fear, the cards only tell the vague layout of your destiny, in the end it is up to you to decide where your path shall end up." He began to flip over cards. "Ah the Magician in the upright position." He smiled. "This card represents you and..." He flipped over another card. "The fool in the upright position. It appears that your assistance will be required to the one whose destiny is infinite." He smiled at him. "Perhaps it is to that of our former guest, the holder of the Wild Card."

"Wild card?" Wait former guest? This made no sense.

"Yes the one whose destiny is zero yet holds infinite possibilities." He flipped over the last card. "Yes I thought as much. The Tower in the upright position. It appears you are to embark on a journey to seek the truth."

"Seek the truth?" he titled his head.

"Yes, you have completed a similar journey before, but it appears your gifts are needed once again and with them you shall uncover a greater truth, however as I have said the outcome of your journey depends on you. What we do is offer help to those who seek to uncover their destiny."

Yosuke stared at him. "And...what is that?"

Igor smiled. "That you take responsibility for your actions. In doing so you will abide by the rules of the contract."

"That's it?" He just had to take responsibility for himself? "Well that's not so bad but...wait what exactly is this? You haven't explained..."

"All in due time. For now we shall let you ponder this. Well then...until we meet again."

He was about to ask more when he felt his body jolt and his eyes snapped open.

_[Now approaching Bunkyou District. All passengers please gather your belongings and exit the train from the left hand doors.]_

Disoriented he sat up, looking around. He was back on the train. Had that been a dream? He heard the announcement again and stood up, grabbing his bag as the train pulled into the station. As he got off the train he recalled the dream. What had that man meant by, his destiny was about to take an important turn? Hadn't he already done that? Hadn't saving the world been him fulfilling his destiny? Shaking his head he walked through the station, taking out his map. Let's see the apartment he and Souji were sharing wasn't far from the University so...He headed for the exit, deciding he'd walk there in order to clear his head.

_It appears that your assistance will be required to the one whose destiny is infinite. _

Igor's words rang in his head. His assistance was needed? By who, this Wild Card he spoke of? Gah it made no sense and even though he wanted to write it off as a dream he'd seen way too many weird things in his life lately to ignore it. Man, why now? He had just gotten used to things being normal, well as normal as they could be. Was it because he was a Persona user? He hadn't summoned it since...that last battle. How exactly was he supposed to help this Wild Card person, and who was it? After a while he decided things were way too vague to go on. If anything he'd have to wait till he saw that Igor guy again and get some real answers.

He turned down the street, checking the map again before proceeding. As he got closer to his destination he began to feel nervous. He hadn't seen him in months...though they did talk on the phone at least once a week if not more. Souji had been his best friend, the only person who truly understood him, the one person he felt the safest around. Being able to come here and live with him had been his whole reason for studying so hard...wait that sounded a little gay. He sighed. Dammit why was he getting so wound up about seeing him again? It wasn't like he...well he did miss him. After all they were best friends so...

_"You really care about Souji-senpai, huh?" Kanji tied off the thread on the doll, grabbing a fresh roll of a gold fabric. He had been making quite a few dolls and plushies lately since the shop was selling them like crazy._

_He laughed. "Of course, he's my best friend." He stared at his study guide still having trouble with this problem._

_"Well yeah but...I mean don't take this the wrong way but...you guys seem...really close." Kanji paused, looking at him. The Tsundere former thug had a knowing look in his eyes._

_"Really close? Hey...what exactly you trying to say?" Yosuke looked at him, cocking a brow. "You trying to insinuate something?" _

_"Look, I'm just saying that...well when you talk about HIM it's kinda like...." He bit his lip, going back to his sewing._

_"What? Kinda like what?" He put down his book, leaning near him. _

_Kanji flushed just a little, almost like he was embarrassed to say it. "Well...kinda like your pining after your long lost love or something." He muttered._

_"WHAT?" He went red. "D...don't say crap like that! It's not like that at all. We're just friends. FRIENDS." He said firmly._

_"Okay." Kanji said, trying to let it go._

_"You know two guys can be really close friends too. I mean I know YOU might not think so since you swing both ways but..."_

"_Yeah, I got it, Yosuke-senpai." Kanji tried to say._

_"And it's not like I DON'T have some girls I'm interested in, I just...got a lot going right now. I mean with trying to get into college and all so I don't have time." He grabbed his book. "So...we're just friends." He said again._

_"Yeah, I got it." Kanji smiled. "Cause _friends _still make time for each other even when they're busy, even when they are too busy to date, right?"_

_He lowered his face, forcing it into the book but his ears were red. "Yeah...that's right. Bros before hos man." He muttered._

_Kanji nodded. "Right." However he looked at his Senpai, wondering if that was really ALL it was. He seriously doubted that but then again not everyone had their sexuality thrown in their face and on display for the world to see like he had. _

He gave a deep sigh at that. Damn that Kanji. Thanks to him he had all these weird thoughts floating around in his head. He wondered if it would make him feel awkward around his friend. Well he would just have to put it from his mind. They were best friends. It was only natural he wanted to be around the only person he could truly be himself around, right? Right?

The apartments came into view and he checked the street address again before heading up to the second floor. His stuff was sent out yesterday so it should have arrived this morning. Maybe Souji already brought it in. Finding the apartment he knocked, his heart racing just slightly. Footsteps could be heard on the other side and as the doorknob turned and the door unlatch, he realized he had stopped breathing. As the door swung open he caught sight of that familiar silver hair and those eyes looked at him as a smile brightened his face.

"Hey, I was starting to get worried. Chie called and said you left over three hours ago." Souji Seta leaned on the doorframe and smiled at him.

"Uh...yeah." He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I walked from the station so it took me a little longer." He laughed. "Gotta stretch my legs after such a long trip."

The other boy nodded. "Well come in and see our new place." He opened the door all the way, heading back into the apartment.

Yosuke followed him, slipping off his shoes by the door as he shut it.

"I put your stuff in the bedroom and unpacked some of the dishes you sent." He walked into the apartment, the kitchen on the left as they headed down the hallway before it opened up into a small living room. "Bed and bathroom are that way." He pointed.

He saw the one bedroom and his memory clicked. "Oh yeah, that's right it's a single bedroom." He recalled the boy telling him that when they had decided on the place.

"Yeah, it's all we can afford for right now." He walked over and took his bag. "Have a seat, relax a while." He smiled.

He felt his cheeks get hot as their hands brushed. "Huh, oh yeah." He gave a nervous laugh before heading to sit down by the table in the center of the room. They had a small TV and it looked like Souji set up his Playstation. "Hey, we should play some games later." he called, trying to relax. He was just happy to see him after so long, that's all it was.

"Huh?" Souji came out of the bedroom. "Oh yeah. Uh...I actually have to get to work here pretty soon so...how about when I get back?" He walked over and sat down near him at the table. "I'll pick up some dinner on the way. What would you like? We can celebrate you finally getting here."

He blinked. "Okay...um...how about some....curry?" He smiled. "I can trust you to make something edible...unlike Chie and Yukiko." He laughed. Though Yukiko's cooking had gotten better. He still wouldn't touch Chie's.

"Right. No Mystery Food X this time." He laughed. They talked for a while; Souji gave Yosuke his school packet as well, explaining the area. "So there's a market down the way so we won't have to go far." He stood up. "I gotta get ready for work so feel free to just hang out or explore if you want.

"You have tomorrow off?" He asked, leaning back on his hands.

"Yeah." The silver-haired boy titled his head to the side. "Why?"

"Well I was thinking maybe you can just show me around tomorrow then." He was beginning to feel more normal now, talking with the boy like he always had.

Souji smiled. "Yeah, we'll do that then." He disappeared into the bedroom and emerged a few minutes later dressed for work. "Okay, I'm off so take care and...oh right." He walked over and handed him a key. "That one's yours so don't lock yourself out." He laughed.

"Like I would." He smiled. When he heard the door close and the apartment fall into silence that nagging feeling came back. Dammit what was up with him, was he just tired? "Maybe I should take a nap." He muttered getting up and heading into the bedroom. Two futons were laid out and the boxes full of his stuff were sitting against the wall. He figured the futon closest to his stuff was his but for some reason he walked over to the other side of the room. Sitting down he sighed. "Man what is up with me?" He muttered, laying back on the futon. He couldn't explain why but he felt lonely here by himself. Well he was now in the same town as Souji, in the same place but...with the boy gone his mind started going again and all those weird possibilities and thoughts were bothering him. He rolled onto his side and then he caught the scent. It was...it smelt like him. He titled his face into the futon, smelling it. He felt his chest tighten and closed his eyes. What was he doing? Now he really was acting gay. However his body didn't want to move and as he felt himself getting dragged into sleep he thought briefly that he should get up before Souji got home...then he passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: Blackout**_

He felt the sensation of something ruffling his hair. Slowly rousing he could make out a voice calling to him.

"...ke? Yosuke?"

He opened his eyes, the faint grogginess of sleep leaving him. "Ngh? Huh?" He turned his head, the fingers in his hair sliding across his temple. Looking up he made out the familiar silhouette of his friend before he came into focus.

"Yosuke?" Souji smiled. "Wow you were really tired, huh?"

He blinked then realized where he was. "Huh? WHA?" He stared wide-eyed at the boy. Oh crap he's fallen asleep on Souji's futon and....his face went red.

"What's with the face?" The silver-haired boy laughed. "Come on, I'll help you to YOUR futon." He chuckled and looped on of the boy's arms around his shoulders.

"I...I can walk myself." He muttered, trying to wiggle away. Once he was free from the other he yawned.

"Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear which one was yours." He scratched his head. "Well I guess if you wanna sleep here tonight it's fine."

"Huh?" Yosuke looked at him wide eyed. What the hell was he saying?

"I mean I can sleep in yours." Souji added looking away.

Oh. Oh he meant... "Um no, it's fine. I should get in my own." He stretched. "I guess the trip really wore me out." He smiled, feeling his heart slow a little.

The other boy smiled. "So no dinner tonight?" He stood up, giving Yosuke room.

He blinked. Oh that was right Souji was going to make curry. "NO, we can still do dinner." He smiled at him. "Just a sec...I'm gonna go shower first." He got up, still a bit groggy. Wandering into the bathroom he stripped down, rinsing himself off before slipping into the tub. Geez what was wrong with him? He hadn't meant to fall asleep on his friend's futon, especially because he had gotten so relaxed cause it smelt like him. He ran a wet hand over his face. He really must be messed up inside.

Gladly once he came out of the bath he fell into the familiar momentum with the boy and they laughed and talked as they ate before finally heading to bed.

"Hey, Yosuke?"

"Yeah?" He called from his futon across the room.

"My boss at work is looking for another worker. If you want I'm sure he'd hire you if you wanted to work with me?" His voice had that familiar calm tone but there was something else in it that he couldn't pinpoint.

"Uh, sure." He called back. "Sounds good to me. I mean we do make a good team, right partner?" He laughed.

"Yeah." Souji said before the room fell back into silence.

How he managed to fall asleep he didn't know but when he opened his eyes again it was morning and the bathroom door was closed. "Huh, he must be showering." He muttered, scratching his messy hair. Yawning he fell back on the futon, staring at the ceiling. He was going in to get a job today and school would start soon. Things were going along normally so why did it feel like it was back then, back to the days before his whole world changed? He sat back up when he heard the door.

Souji stood in the doorway drying his hair. "Hey, you're up. Come on, I'll take you to my work." He smiled.

Yosuke nodded. "Yeah, I'll get dressed." Getting up he changed, grabbing a quick breakfast before they headed out. Sometimes he felt so awkward and others it was like things had never changed. Following the other to work he met with Souji's boss. It was a pretty informal interview the man more wanting to get his info so he could start as soon as tomorrow. He bowed, leaving the man's office and saw Souji getting ready. "Hey."

"Hey, I gotta start my shift so head home without me, okay? See ya tonight." Souji smiled, waving to him as he left to manage the counter.

Yosuke gave a faint wave, turning when he felt this odd sensation in his chest, startled by it. What was wrong with him? Walking down the street he felt that odd out of body sensation like the one on the train. As he slowed down he saw a flash of light and a blue glowing door lay at the entrance to an alley. "Whoa!" he jumped back, startled and almost bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch where you're going." The guy spat.

"Bu...but...but the...d...door...?" He pointed but no one else seemed to see it and instead gave him funny looks like he was crazy. "What the...." Staring at the door he felt something familiar. Walking to it he reached forward before he felt something in his pocket. "Huh?" Yosuke reached into his pocket pulling out a blue key. "Oh this is getting weirder and weirder." He muttered but used the key on the door opening it and overwhelmed by a blinding light.

"Welcome once again." The large nosed man said, smiling like he had before. "It seems you have once again found your way here."

"I was sure it was a dream." He whined and walked into to the table the man sat at, on what he thought was a train, covering in blue velvet, the light from outside a blinding blue.  
"Please sit." The man said, gesturing to the both across from him.  
Reluctantly Yosuke sat down. What now? Was he going to be told the end of the world was coming? Wasn't the first time.

"The key you have is the one used for the door you just entered, anytime you need to speak with me you can go through that door." The man said, staring at him.

"Great." Yosuke said, looking at the key. "Where is here, exactly?" he asked. Not sure he really believed things the first time.

"The velvet room, where your journey will be monitored." The long nosed man pulled out a card. "You the Magician shall embark on a journey for truth. We simply watch and ask only that you take responsibility for your decisions."  
He remembered that part. "Okay so if I need help I come here, then?" he asked, tilting his head. Okay so all of that wasn't a dream and this wild card was supposed to help him, but who was it?

"I will give you time to think on it. When you have questions please feel free to come here." He played the Magician card on the table. "The Magician's skill is to be whatever the Fool needs. Should it come to it, your abilities will adapt to the situation and your persona will evolve."

"My persona?" He blinked. Evolve, well it had once before but...even more?

"Yes, now go and come back should you need assistance." He smiled, those large eyes giving him a knowing look.

Yosuke got up, walking out the door he came in and there was another flash of light before he found himself standing in the middle of the street again. Weird.

He opened the door to his apartment. "I'm home." He called out of habit but there was no answer. Right, Souji was at work. It had been a day but he hated being away from him, it was lonely." He sighed. "God I am sounding gay." He muttered, going to shower, hoping it cleared his head. Why was it now things felt so empty without Souji? Well, actually, things had felt lonely before back in Inaba. When he said goodbye to the boy at the train station he told himself they'd stay in touch and then it would be fine but it was lonely. School was boring, hanging out with the others felt empty in a way and the only thing that made him continue was the idea he could graduate and move here with the other. He started the shower, letting the water just hit him but it didn't help. He had thought about the other a lot, almost obsessively and thinking back he'd always tried to get Souji to admit he had a girl, or if he had feelings for someone half hoping he didn't. He told himself it was cause he was just worried the boy would get ahead of him but it was because he didn't want some girl to steal the boy from him. "Dammit." He pressed his head against the tiles in the shower. Was he gay? He was, huh? No, he just was a bit too overprotective of his friend, that was all. He told himself it was natural, that close friends were like this but he'd fallen asleep on the other's futon, intoxicated by his scent. Friends didn't do that, they didn't. His head was even more a mess and thinking more and more about the other made him very aware his body was reacting in a way no guy should in regards to their friend. Turning the water to cold he gasped, his mind going blank except for the thoughts that were forcing their way into his mind. "Souji...." he panted.

He was slime. Wobbling from his room in his pajamas he went to go find out what to make for dinner. He started work tomorrow so maybe he should make enough for leftovers. Souji liked omelets, right? Getting things out he debated. He wasn't exactly a great cook and it wouldn't do good to kill his roommate on his second day here. He sighed. Souji should be home soon. He glanced at the clock. He put everything back, opting for some chips in a cupboard and went to sit down, turning on TV. He wasn't really paying attention, watching the weather out of habit anymore. Fog always worried him still, but then again rain wasn't fun either. God how long had it been since that had happened, just a year?

"Yosuke?" Souji put his keys down, seeing the boy sitting back against the kotatsu watching the weather.

He dropped the controller, turning quickly and couldn't stop the flush. God not long ago in the shower he'd.... "Hey." He got up, turning off the TV. "How was work?" He said, trying to not look as guilty as he felt. What kind of friend was he?

"Fine, did you eat yet?" He looked to the kitchen, seeing it untouched and the bag of chips next to the boy.  
"No, I was waiting for you." He said and then wanted to kick himself. He was acting like they were newlyweds or something.

Souji gave a small laugh. "You didn't have to but how about I make us something?" he put his things down and rolled up his sleeves.

"I'll help." He moved quickly, going to him. "I gotta learn sometime, right?"

The other boy smiled. "Okay."

A little awkwardly he helped, chopping vegetables and managing not to cut himself, however each time they bumped into each other he got this odd feeling, his chest tightening and he might have stared a little longer than he should of before moving. God what was wrong with him? Maybe he should just talk to Souji about it. Maybe...no...no Souji was too cool to be that way.

"Hey, Yosuke?" Souji looked at him. "You okay? You seem a bit out of it, are you still tired from the trip?" He stared at him concerned, those silver eyes seeming to be unaware of the millions of things Yosuke thought of in the second he stared back at him.

He shook his head. "No...I'm fine just...getting used to life in the city again." He smiled, turning to work on dinner, concentrating really hard.

"Okay." Souji didn't seem so sure but didn't want to push it, adding the ingredients to the omelets and cooking them.  
Yosuke sat back during the last part, watching as Souji cooked but he began to pay less attention to what the boy was doing and more attention to how his body moved. Was his skin always that pale? Did his hair hang in his eyes like that before? He was beginning to notice more and more, the idea that the other was really attractive and questions like, how his skin felt, what he'd feel like if he held him.

"...osuke?"

What did his lips feel like, was it wrong to wonder.

"Yosuke?" Souji waved a hand in his face. "Yo, you're spacing out." He grinned. "Your omelet is done."

Yosuke jumped, the boy suddenly close and the last thoughts in his brain poked at him, making him take the plate from the boy fast. "Thanks." He said, ducking down as he turned. Oh god!

Souji furrowed his brow. Yosuke was acting weird, but he wasn't sure of the boy wanted to talk about it yet. Still if this kept up...  
"Wanna play a game while we eat?" he asked, trying to keep things light. He had to try and be friends. These romantic, or rather erotic feelings were not healthy and if he kept letting his mind wander he'd probably ending up making a fool of himself.

He smiled and sat down at the kotatsu. "Sounds good." He grinned, glad that Yosuke seemed a bit better but still wondered. Had he let his guard down?

Eating they played a game, battling each other, Souji amazingly good and he had to use all his skills just to keep up and make it worth the boy's while. "You're way too good at this." He laughed, gritting his teeth as he attempted a combo.

Souji leaned forward. "Come on, Yosuke, you gotta try harder if you wanna beat me." He teased.

"Dude, I can beat you if...crap!" He lost again and dropped the controller leaning back on his hands. "You suck." He snorted, feeling normal again, just sitting and laughing with him.

Souji laughed. "Oh don't be a poor sport." He nudged his shoulder.

Yosuke nudged back. "I'm not, you're just a cheater." He argued.

Souji laughed and pushed back harder. "No, it's all skill."

"I bet." He growled and pushed even harder when the lights went out and he fell forward right on the other. "Whoa!"

Falling back, Souji groaned, a bit thrown off by the sudden darkness and weight on him and when his eyes focused he was staring right up at Yosuke who look petrified.

He froze. Oh god...oh god. He was pinning Souji to the floor, trying to focus in the dark when those bright eyes came into view and god help him he did think about taking that moment of confusion to...to..."Souji?' he murmured, leaning closer.

Somehow Souji just stared at him and as Yosuke got closer he seemed to lean up.

He was sure it would be the end of him when there was a familiar jolt and they both paused, staring wide eyed for another reason. "Did you feel that?' he asked.

"Yeah." The other said a little husky.

He pushed his desire from his mind getting up and fumbling in the dark, the feeling stronger. He knew this feeling. It was something bad, something that shouldn't be on this side and he felt his heart race.

"Yosuke." Souji took his hand, leading him to their front door and stepping out, the whole city black. "What...?" There were no lights and people wandered on the street confused, some terrified that something awful had happened. That feeling was still there. "Yosuke, you feel that?"

Yosuke nodded, the feeling of darkness and dread and terrible emotions. "Yeah, it's a shadow."


End file.
